Self-doubt = Self-sabotage
How I Almost Undervalued Myself in My Performance Review
A few months back, I had my performance evaluation. As part of the process, we had to self-assess and rate our performance over the past year using a Likert scale.
And I don't know what it was—maybe me being humble, being female, whatever—but I caught myself about to grade my last year's achievements lower than what they actually were based on the results. I questioned whether my accomplishments were really substantial enough to warrant an above-average score. But I managed to swallow those self-doubts and evaluated myself at a higher level.
When reviewing my evaluation with my supervisor, he went through my self-assessment and completely agreed with my ratings. He even provided specific justifications for why that level was accurate. Of course, he could have just been being nice, but if that were the case, he wouldn't have had such detailed reasons for why that score was right.
The conversation probably would have gone fine either way, but I would never have forgiven myself for letting self-doubt sabotage me. And who knows how that lower score on record might have affected any promotion considerations.
Statistically, I belong to multiple minority groups (even though, honestly, I don't feel it in my workplace): Black African Woman in Tech in Finland, which might contribute to this ‘confidence gap’.
There's enough research showing that minorities tend to undervalue themselves. For example, research found that women's self-evaluations were lower than those of their male peers with similar performance. And even though I actively try to fight against this internally, this situation was a prime example where I nearly fell into that trap.
Of course there are times when self-doubt is beneficial, it can make you seek information, skills, or support that you need to be more confident. But this was a case where self-doubt was self-sabotage.
Now, when I find myself in self-doubt about my performance, I ask: "What would someone need to accomplish to deserve each rating?" Then I try to objectively assess whether I meet those criteria - but this is naturally still a work in progress 🙂.
What are your tactics for not undervaluing your work?
How do you balance humility and confidence?
Comment with any tips that you have 🙂